A Scarf is a Versatile Object
by SnuzzieMagic
Summary: When Byakuya asks Urahara to take him shopping for a new scarf in the living world, there is only one thing Urahara wants. And it's not quite for sale. Slight fluff. Slight crack. Lots of ByaUra fun.


**Title:** A Scarf is a Versatile Object 8

**Pairing:** ByaUra

**Word Count:** 1,400. It was 1,401, but my OCD won out and I deleted a word.

**Disclaimer:** I own Clorox, not Bleach, alas alas alas.

**Dedication;** This fic was written for Bri // chriek on LJ as a birthday present. The ByaUra here is based off of the ByaUra at **BNF Brawl**, a massive LJ RPG. Cheers!

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"It was a bonding experience," Byakuya said impassively, shutting the red convertible door behind him. He watched as Urahara folded the top of the car, the whirring and clicking intriguing him far more than he would care to admit, even so many months after his first encounter with the phenomenon.

"Rukia-chan has better bonding experiences with you, ne?" Came Urahara's voice from the other side of the car as he stepped out and shut the door behind him. He was almost pouting. "I'm jealous."

"You wish to be assaulted by, ah, large-chested women?" The noble raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"I wish to be assaulted by you, ne?" Urahara stepped up beside him, lightly brushing his own fingers against Byakuya's own before moving towards the mall entrance.

"That is not likely to happen," Byakuya said. He followed the green-striped hat that was the entire reason for their trip, the clacking of its owner's geta against the concrete resonating loudly in his ears. "You did not have the common sense to dress normally?"

"I could not wear my hat then. And I would not want to disappoint you." If Urahara could have pulled out his fan to cackle behind, he would have, but as it was, he had to settle for chuckling and moving towards their destination.

"Scarves, Hats, and More?"

"It is a store suited to our purpose."

"It is uncreative. I feel my creativity being impeded upon," Byakuya said.

"Better than Victoria's secret, ne?" Urahara replied. "I do not believe you would find what you were looking for there. Unless your object in mind was something to help Rukia-chan and Ichigo on their path to becoming a True OTP "

Byakuya stared at the shopkeeper for a minute before stepping into the store. "Do not be crude."

It was not really a store he had thought he would be visiting. The walls lined with a multitude of scarves and rather odd, lopsided hats, it seemed more fitted to the ragged denizens of Rukongai during the winter months than a noble of the Kuchiki Clan. But he supposed he wouldn't find a Nobles 'R Us anywhere nearby and regardless of the standing of the Kuchikis in Soul Society, the most he could hope for here would be preferential treatment due to the sheen of his hair, although that had come to near disaster his last trip to this human establishment.

Regardless, Kuchiki Byakuya had come here on a mission and had even asked Urahara to accompany him, although that was really less asking and more hinting that a trip to the mall might be a nice change of venue from the futon on the floor, while carrying a slightly less stolid expression than usual.

"Ignore the fuzzy ones and do not even suggest the hat with the ears," Byakuya said sharply, looking at the shopowner shrewdly as the latter reached for a lump of fleece that seemed to have bunny ears protruding from it.

"It would be a sibling bonding experience with Rukia-chan, ne?" Urahara said amusedly as he left the bunny hat alone and reached, instead, for one with a rather pained looking vulture sitting on top. "Hm."

"Would you be the one bonding with her?" Byakuya asked, finding a rack of silk scarves in rather shockingly bright colors.

"I've already bonded with her, ne?"

"Then the answer is no."

Urahara looked for a moment as though he would like to grab the hat anyways and perhaps place it on top of Byakuya's head and watched in amusement as the shinigami noble became less impassive and more outraged (or perhaps even more impassive—you never could tell with Byakuya), but the latter seemed so engrossed in trying to pick out a scarf that he thought perhaps it would be best to leave the antics for another day and try to provoke him into being cute instead. Urahara was a large fan of cute. Usually it was a rather loud and angry type of cute as his OTP was wont to be, but he had caught them snuggling in the guest room during one of Rukia-chan's days of slavery and the pictures he had taken proved that they were capable of the more traditional type.

"The hot pink would make you look sexy," he said, sidling up to Byakuya.

Byakuya had not been expecting Urahara's presence directly beside him and he had certainly _not_ been expecting such a comment in public. His fingers slipped from the hot pink scarf he had been examining and he instinctively tried to repress the heat that he felt rising to his cheeks.

"Do not be ridiculous."

Urahara chuckled before taking off his striped hat and placing it on top of Byakuya's head.

"Hm. You're right. It clashes with your eyebrows."

"My….eyebrows?"

"You have very distinct eyebrows, ne?"

"They are not specially colored."

"That is what makes them so distinct." Urahara beamed at the confused looking noble as he tugged a black scarf off of a hanger. Holding it next to Byakuya's face, his eyes darted back and forth between the two. "This one does not suit your skin tone."

"….it is black."

"Exactly," Urahara nodded seriously. He replaced the scarf before reaching toward a rather bright red polka-dotted one.

"Stop." Byakuya reached out to halt Urahara, his hand hovering above the other man's own. Before he had the chance to realize his mistake, Urahara's hand flipped over, tangling their fingers together.

"So forward of you, Byakuya."

Byakuya glared stoically at the other shinigami, embarrassed at the thought that a human might be watching them. Finding no words of retort, he watched as Urahara's face lit up mischievously with the realization that he had won this particular round. Whistling cheerfully, the shopkeeper pulled Byakuya to the other side of the store. A corner in fact. A corner curiously devoid of humans and rather shaded as well.

"This corner is rather curiously devoid of humans and rather shaded as well," Byakuya said.

"So it is. Curious how that works," Urahara beamed, letting go of his hand.

"Was there a particular reason for removing me from the rack of scarves I was examining?"

"They made you look fat, ne?"

"I did not try any of them on," Byakuya stared.

"I have a sharp eye," Urahara said, scooting closer to Byakuya. "For example, I have noticed just how stiff you are today."

He reached up, hands closing on the end of the aquamarine scarf so representative of the Kuchikis and of Byakuya. He used it to tug the other shinigami closer.

"What are you doing, Urahara?"

"Helping you relax." The shopkeeper reached up to trace the side of the noble's face, starting at the top of his cheek and following his strong jawline, noting how warm the flushed skin was under his fingertips. "I care, ne?"

Byakuya said nothing, if possible, stiffening even more. This was not the time or place, no matter how nice Urahara smelled or how rumpled his blond hair looked without his hat or how close he was and how much closer he was slowly getting.

Urahara could see the other man wavering, his Kuchiki stiffness and sense of pride slowly chipping away to the more interesting situation at hand. Taking the noble's chin between his thumb and index finger, he made to pull him forward, but was surprised when the dark-haired man moved forward of his own accord, a strange glitter in his eye. By the time Byakuya's face was right in front of his, Urahara was ready to catch the other man's lips with his own, but then, suddenly, his face wasn't there anymore, having disappeared over the shopkeeper's shoulder.

"You missed," Urahara blinked.

"Ah?" Byakuya leaned back again, hands grasping a jungle green scarf, a confused look on his face. "No. This is the one I saw."

"Ah, a scarf." Urahara ran a hand through his blond hair sheepishly. "You really are something, Byakuya."

"It is the correct color, is it not?" Byakuya replied, clearly oblivious to Urahara's words. He took the striped hat off his head and held it next to the scarf, comparing the colors and then looking up at Urahara.

The shopkeeper chuckled, picking up the scarf and placing it around the noble's neck, the darker green dwarfing the lighter aquamarine underneath.

"Perfect," Urahara smiled. And taking either end of the scarf, he pulled Byakuya back into the shadows.


End file.
